Lesson 3 – Physical Contact

Slide 1-2 - Introduction: I Feel Safe When...

Begin the session by showing the video from the NSPCC, “I Feel Safe When…”

Click to play.

Slide 3 - Introduction: I Feel Safe When...

Ask children to discuss in pairs and then share with the class, how would they finish this sentence: ‘I Feel Safe When…’

After feedback, click to reveal the words People, Places and Rules, and help the children to see where their suggestions fit into these broad categories. For example:

People – Feeling safe with trusted adults around that children can talk to about any problems or issues, no strangers
Places – Having a practically safe environment, e.g. nothing to trip over, clearly marked fire exits, not too big that they get lost etc.
Rules – Having clear rules and boundaries is important to know how they can keep themselves safe, e.g. cars travel on the left, so we know how to cross the road safely

Slide 4: Teaching: Times When Children Might Not Feel Safe - Abuse

Gently explain that some children sometimes might not feel safe, even when adults are present. This is very sad, but it is important that all children know about times when they might not feel safe. Introduce a special word we are going to use to describe when someone makes someone else feel unsafe. Click to reveal:

ABUSE

Explain that abuse means:

Any action or failure to act by another person – adult or child – that causes significant harm to a child.

For the rest of this session, we are going to learn more about what this might be and how we can recognise when it is happening.

Slide 5 - Film and Discussion: Mark's Story (Physical Abuse)

Mark’s Story

In this film, Mark tells about how a game with his friend Dave became painful and started a pattern of Dave hurting Mark ‘as a joke’.

Click to play the film.

Slide 6 - Film and Discussion: Mark's Story (Physical Abuse)

Explore the story using these questions and comments:

• What is Dave doing that has upset Mark?
(Keeps pinching him really hard and pretending it’s a joke.)
• How did this start and how has it developed?
(They were playing a pinching game in assembly that got out of hand, and Dave got into trouble for talking; now Dave pinches Mark all the time and is clearly angry about what happened.)
• Why do you think Mark is reluctant to confront Dave?
(They are best friends; Mark doesn’t want to get Dave into trouble; Mark doesn’t want to admit that the pinching really hurts him; Dave says it is just a joke.)
• What should Mark do?
(Talk to Dave about it and also a parent/someone he trusts.)

Slide 7 - Film and Discussion: Mark's Story (Physical Abuse)

Explain that what happened to Mark is an example of Physical Abuse. Use the following text, which will be displayed as bullet-points on the screen, to explain what physical abuse means:

• Physical abuse is when a child is deliberately hurt, causing injuries such as bruises, broken bones, burns or cuts.
• It includes punching, beating, kicking, biting, shaking, throwing, hitting, choking and burning.
• Sometimes we have accidents and hurt ourselves or other people by mistake. But physical abuse is done on purpose.
• There’s no excuse for the physical abuse of a child. It can cause serious, and often long-lasting, harm.

Slide 8 - Film and Discussion: Alesha's Story (Emotional Abuse)

Alesha’s Story

In this film, Alesha becomes very scared by what her Mum’s new boyfriend says over a period of time, and begins to doubt her Mum’s love for her.

Click to play the film.

Slide 9 - Film and Discussion: Alesha's Story (Emotional Abuse)

Explore the story using these questions and comments:

• Before Mikey came on the scene, how did Alesha feel living with her Mum?
(She loved it; it was sad that her Dad wasn’t there but she knew her Mum loved her and would never leave her.)
• How did she feel about Mikey to start with?
(She liked him because he brought her sweets and toys.)
• What things did he say that made her feel weird?
(“Your Mum’s getting fed up with you but is too polite to say it” and “Your Mum wishes she had left you too.”)
• Do you think Mikey is telling the truth? Why?
(No, he is telling lies, maybe to try and have Alesha’s Mum to himself.)
• Why do you think Alesha wants to run away?
(Because she believes Mikey’s lies and has started to doubt her Mum’s love for her.)
• What should Alesha do?
(Tell her Mum or someone else she trusts; be very honest about Mikey has said.)

Slide 10 - Film and Discussion: Alesha's Story (Emotional Abuse)

Explain that what happened to Alesha is an example of Emotional Abuse. Use the following text, which will be displayed as bullet-points on the screen, to explain what emotional abuse means:

Emotional abuse is when someone treats a child in a way that affects their emotional well-being.
• Emotional abuse can involve deliberately trying to scare or humiliate a child or isolating or ignoring them.
• It can include constant criticising, threatening with physical harm, ignoring, rejecting, blaming, shaming, manipulating, isolating, humiliating etc.
• There’s no excuse for the emotional abuse of a child. It can cause serious, and often long-lasting, emotional harm.

Slide 11 - Film and Discussion: Alesha's Story (Emotional Abuse)

Chris’ Story

In this film, Chris describes an experience of feeling uncomfortable when his babysitter touches him in his ‘private parts’.

Click to play the film.

Slide 12 - Film and Discussion: Alesha's Story (Emotional Abuse)

Explore the story using these questions and comments:

• Why did Chris feel uncomfortable by what his babysitter did?
(Because ‘privates are private’; the babysitter told him to keep it a secret.)
• What did the babysitter do wrong?
(Touch Chris’ private parts; told Chris not to tell his parents.)
• Remind pupils that private parts are those parts of the body covered by a swimming costume. For boys, it the penis and the surrounding area; for girls, it is the vulva and the chest/breasts.
• What should Chris do?
(Tell his parents/someone he trusts; be very honest about what happened.)

Note for Teacher: In this teaching, you should feel comfortable using the words ‘penis’, ‘vagina’, ‘vulva’, ‘testicles’ and ‘breasts’ as well as words such as ‘pants’ and ‘private parts’, etc. If a pupil uses a non-scientific word (eg ‘balls’ to describe testicles), affirm the child for responding and explain that “in this class, so we know what everyone means, we are going to use scientific terms, so instead of saying ‘balls’ we will say ‘testicles’. This should be expressed in a non-judgemental manner.

Slide 13 - Film and Discussion: Alesha's Story (Emotional Abuse)

Explain that what happened to Chris was an example of Abuse of Private Parts. Use the following text, which will be displayed as bullet-points on the screen, to explain was abuse of private parts means.

Abuse of Private Parts…
• Is when a child is being made, asked or rewarded for doing anything with the private part of their bodies that frightens or worries them – or being made to do this to someone else
• Can involve touching, kissing, or being made to show private parts of their body (ones that would normally be under a swimming costume) – or being made to do this to another person
• Can also involve non-touching activities, such as being shown inappropriate films or pictures in books, magazines, on TV, mobile phones or online
• There’s no excuse for the abuse of private parts. It can cause serious, and often long-lasting, emotional harm.

Slide 14 - Film and Discussion: Alesha's Story (Emotional Abuse)

Say that not all touch is inappropriate! Ask children for examples of acceptable physical touch, and click to reveal the list below to see how children compared e.g:

• Playing a sport such as rugby or football where you are likely to touch another player whilst playing
• A sports coach politely and carefully correcting technique
• A doctor examining private parts for medical reasons (remember a trusted adult can be present!)
• A parent or carer holding your hand to cross the road, and giving you hugs when you want them

Slide 15 - Activity: Sort it Out

On screen, there are three definitions of different types of abuse: Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Abuse of Private Parts.

Using the definitions of different types of abuse that are on the screen, children should think, share with a partner and then discuss across the group whether they think the scenarios below are OK, or whether they show physical abuse, emotional abuse or abuse of private parts. Ask children for reasons why and add more scenarios if you wish:

• Felicity’s babysitter shouts at her all the time when she’s done nothing wrong and tells her that she’s stupid and ugly and nobody cares about her.
• Jamie’s Dad grabbed his arm as he crossed the road to pull him out the way of a motorbike Jamie hadn’t see coming. It hurt Jamie’s arm a bit.
• One of the older boys at Ahmed’s football club keeps pinching him in the changing rooms and pushing him when no one is watching. Ahmed has bruises all over his arms.
• Lacey had already eaten her tea and a chocolate biscuit, but her Mum wouldn’t let her have ice cream as well.
• A friend of Mark’s Dad asked him to take off his clothes so he could take a photo.

Slide 16 - Discussion and Film: Character's Response

Discuss with the pupils the specific actions that the characters of Chris, Alesha and Mark should undertake in response to their experience of abuse. In discussing this, encourage the children to be as specific as they can be so we hear a broad range of responses. For example, if the response is “tell someone”, explore with the children potential people who that person could be, including parents or a trusted adult in school such as a teacher or the parish priest.

After discussion, watch how the characters responded. You might to pause the film and discuss each response and how each child showed resilience.

Click to play the film.

Slide 17 - Teaching: Trusted People

Highlight that Chris, Alesha and Mark all talked to trusted people which helped them solve or cope with the problem.

On a blank sheet of paper, ask children to write a list or draw pictures of their own trusted people that they know they could talk to if ever they wanted/needed. You might like to play music to encourage focus and reflection.

Slide 18 - Plenary

Ask children what they think they should do if they think their friends or they themselves are being abused. You may like to use the NSPCC phrase ‘Speak Out, Stay Safe.’

Encourage children to think about who they would talk to first, who they could trust if they ever had something that was bothering them (go through who these might be). If for some reason they feel they can’t, they could always phone Childline for a chat 0800 1111 or contact Childline online.

Slide 19 - Plenary

To celebrate all that children have learned about keeping safe and end this session on a fun note, play the game Big Angry Dog, where children have to escape to safety. This can be played in the hall, on the playground, or a reduced version inside the classroom.

• Identify one child as the ‘Big Angry Dog’ who should freeze in the middle of the room. Encourage an angry expression and hands held like big claws!
• Identify the ‘‘safety zone’ around the edge of the hall/playground.
• All other children should stand around the Big Angry Dog and touch them with finger (appropriately!)
• When the teacher shouts “Big Angry Dog!” all the children have to run to the safety zone. Any children that the Big Angry Dogs tags become part of the Big Angry Dog and join hands with them, making the dog bigger for the next round.
• Continue until you have a winner or you want to stop!

Slide 20 - Final Prayer

Suggested follow-on activities

Secret Box – Ask children to write down examples of good secrets (ones that will people will find out about soon, e.g. a birthday present) and bad secrets (ones that people ask someone to keep forever, or ones that might hurt them or someone else). Put all the secrets in a lucky dip bag. Children should take it in turns to read out a secret, and then choose whether to put it into a good secret gift box, or onto a bad secret print out of a speech bubble. This helps children realise what secrets are OK to keep, and what ones should always be told to a trusted adult.
Classroom rules – Based on what made children feel safe, come up with rules for the classroom.
Learn the Childline Number – Come up with a song and/or actions for children to remember the Childline number: 0800 1111
A Child’s Needs – Discuss what a child needs to be happy, healthy and safe. Children could do this in groups, and present back to the class. Extension. present as a ‘lonely hearts’ style advert of a child before they are born looking for a family to provide their needs. Use the categories and ideas on this page, under ‘Defining a child’s needs’: www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/neglect/

Home Activity

Homework – Children should discuss learning with someone at home. You may wish to send information home about abuse – some of the information on the link below is aimed at parents not children so films etc need to watched in advance of discussion to check appropriate: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/

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